Dear So and So...

Dear Mother Nature
REALLY?!?!?! I get excited for the first time in my ENTIRE life that it is going to snow. Then, you pull a fast one.. and it doesn't snow. So I had to wake up and come to work this morning ... while everything else was cancelled. Can you please make up your mind?! OR have no snow at all.. OR make the meteorologists give accurate weather reports.

chilly and not pleased,
Ashley

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Dear A. Caron, Rat and Libby
I hopy you guys have a safe trip to Mississippi!!! Heard there was some possible car sickness =(. Drive safe, have fun and say hello to Kurt for me!!

Love you,
Ashley

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Dear whoever lectures about how bad smoking is
Those of us who smoke do not puff on our cancer sticks because we think it is good for us. We don't believe there are any healthy side-effects from smoking, nor do we enjoy the smell. We know it is not attractive and we know that it can kill us. We too cough when smoke is blown in our faces. That being said, you do not have to remind us it is bad for our health. You are just telling us information that we have already heard 100 times that day, 300 times the day before and 1,000 times over the weekend.. while we were smoking a pack a night, coupled with our case of beer. If we cared that much.. we would quit or at least stop smoking in front of you. We have an addiction. We like it. If we didn't, we would not stand outside in -80 degree weather, while it is snowing.. and pile on 10 layers of clothes for a blissful five minutes.. (when we conveniently escape the chaos going on wherever it we can't smoke. We have the perfect excuse to get away.. think about it) Sooo.. give it up. We are addicted. we can't help it. We are not blind/deaf/THAT stupid (well, most of us aren't).. we see the commercials with the fake babies crawling all over the side walk, those with body parts in the trash cans and still those with people screaming out side of the tobacco companies; we see the giant bill boards, there are even ads in our cigarette packs that tell us who to call if we want to quit. We have all seen the atrocious commercial with the build up being squeezed out of the heart valve. But we still did not quit... so you reminding us will not have an effect stronger than that of the all mighty media. Thanks for trying. Better luck next time. You might have more luck convincing a dog that leftover hamburger tastes bad

Its a lost cause,
Ashley

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Dear Robin Thicke
Will you marry me?

waiting for a response
Ashley

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Dear, the one I saw last night who has a girlfriend
I know that you would rather hang out with me instead of your girlfriend. Who can blame you?! But the fact is.. you still have a girlfriend... who thinks you are happy. Texting me allllll day long telling me how much you want to hang out will not change the fact that you have a girlfriend or change the fact that I do not want anything to do with someone who has a girlfriend (even tho I am getting to the point where I would like to bend the rules a touch). I will be strong. Maybe you should work on the whole honesty thing.. or the whole settling issue you obviously have that I will not become a part of. Good luck, you have my number.

Ashley

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Dear Winter
Go away. Not one person is particularly fond of you at the moment (except for the crazies who like snow sports). Get the hint!! It is no fun for all of us.. who are cold, tired and sick of this crappy weather. Apparently Mother Nature picked you as the favorite.. and you never got the hint that when you are not wanted, you go away. I will be willing to help you with this issue.. as soon as you bring summer around. Until then, I, along with everyone else who is annoyed with this weather, will continue to be upset with you..

hurry along,
Ashley


Some things I have become obsessed with:

:: This version of "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" by Justin Nozuka.. there are a lot of good covers of this song... this is one of my many favorites.

:: Robin Thicke

:: Painting my nails.. which reminds me.. I need to do that tonight

:: Water

Casey and I had our own little adventure yesterday. I'm not going to mention the details.. but lets just say.. the end result made us VERY happy!! Also, as you can read in one the the letters above... One of the attached guys is back. yippee.

I don't have much going on... Jimbo hasn't been here, its been nice.. to say the least. A. Caron went to Mississippi with Rat through next week.. so it looks like I'll be spending a lot of time at my house. Tater, A. Caron's dog got attacked two nights ago.. poor thing. Ya just wanted to sqeeze him, he looked so sad.. but he'll get better.

Other than that.. the only drama I have has to do with boys with girlfriends.. uuuggghh or as he would put it "not really dating, but yeah, kinda" laammee.

I hope everyone has a good weekend!!!
xoxoxox

Funny Things About Today

Casey and I had lunch with one on the interpreters for the court house. ..big sigh.. We've had lunch with her before.. but today was particularly funny. Shes nice. Annnd before she opens her mouth, shes pretty. BUT.. big but.. The entire meal, we have to listen to how gorgeous EVERYONE thinks she is. How the owner of the restaurant we eat at has a crush on her.. so he will buy her drinks, how the guy shes talking to is gorgeous, a doctor, likes to cook... but is too short and smokes. So she doesn't like him. She also will not kiss him. She would also prefer to know if someone smokes from the beginning because if they do, she is not interested because it is sooo gross (no matter how good looking or nice of a guy they are. She does NOT want to fantasize about them if it can never happen.. and it can never happen i f they smoke) that's her thing, that's who she is. But this gorgeous, doctor who likes to cook.. smokes.

So does she like him? We don't know. But he can indulge her as much as he wants.. without going overboard, because then it ruins it and sex is the only thing their relationship would be based on.

She is also CONSTANTLY being stared at, checked out, hit on and told how beautiful she is. She dressed too sexy for work today.. which weighed heavily on her mind (annoying, right.. her life is tragic).

When I maybe thought our server was cute, she offered to hit on him for me, because she is really good at getting guys for other girls. No thank you (I told her I could take care of it myself if I had to. The waiter ended up not being cute at all.. and threw his head around obnoxiously).

When she walks... she walks slloooowww so everyone can see how gorgeous she is, when she talks to men you would think she was talking to the funniest, most interesting guy on the face of the planet.

That was who we had lunch with today. When she talks.. it is sooo hard not to laugh.. because she truly believes everything she is saying and is 100% sincere and oncfident in her good looks and charm. gag me. But it was funny. Casey and I got a few good laughs about it.

---------------------

pIah... yeah, another thing about him.. He thinks I should give him money. He doesn't have any. And because I know how much he took care of me while we lived together )and he didn't want me to work) I owe him. He quit his job, isn't going to school and might lose his scholarship.. I wonder why he is having a hard time financially?!? Soooo it would be the right thing to do.. send him money. --- UMMMMM NOOOO!!!! It took be about 15 minutes to really comprehend what he was saying. Not even a week ago he was telling me how much he wanted me to fall off the face of the planet and he can't believe he fell in love with someone as awful as me. And now he wants me to search the dusty corners of my heart and feel some compassion for him?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... stop me whenever you would like... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

I must be a mega bitch.. because absolutely not. He not only will not leave me alone and has, on numerous occasions, run me into the ground, he won't give me back the rest of my stuff. So he can go screw a camel for all I care.. =) funny.

---------------------------

I may have a new job. maybe. Jimbo will just have to deal when I do find a new job.. because I am looking.

--------------------------

The girl who tried to run me over with her car in high school.. the one I got in my first and only fist fight with.. got a job at the bank my mom works at. She also dated my brother... and cheated on him. that should be fun mom, huh?!?!?

--------------------------


Other than funny things about today.. some updates..

I have decided to cut down on coffee... I feel weird.

I am still obsessed with Robin Thicke.. and I have also become obsessed with the game "Zoo World" on facebook. Thank you, Casey.

A certain someone.. who has but doesn't have a girlfriend.. wants me to come see him.. UGH. REALLY?!?! I need to find out where this sign is that says "I will be interested if you are taken" and feed it to the sharks (I have a few in my zoo on facebook).

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!
xoxoxo

Confusion... A Regular Feeling

I am in love. Robin Thicke is... the love of my life. Not really... but I am addicted.

"Magic" and "Lost Without You" are my new favorites. Really. Hes sexy, his music is sexy and his videos are sexy. Hes got it goooin ooon.

Back to the real world..

I have decided that I am going to cut down on the amount of coffee I drink. I know, I'm crazy.. I'm addicted, I am on a very high coffee buzz as I type.. but I gotta. I started my work out regimen again.. and now.. I know.. I am going to become addicted to working out again. Not a bad thing.

Anyone watch "The Bachelor" last night? I sure did! It makes me wanna go camping, and play hide and seek in a vineyard and sit by the fire with a man I don't really know but have convinced myself I am in love with (just kidding on that last part). I could never be on that show. I would get suuuuuper jealous.. and pissed. Because what is the point in being interested in someone when they are interested in 20,000 other people.. along with you. And talk about sloppy 5ths. No thank you. He is cute tho. So I guess that's a bonus.. and a good way to keep the ladies on board.

I am sooo sick of my job, I could go on for hours about what I hate about it. I don't like surrounding myself with negative people and thats exactly what I am doing working for Jimbo. Hes so miserable its almost amusing (Like when I get nervous.. I laugh.. I get so frustrated.. I almost have to find some humor out of this.. because here I stay.. dealing with it and Jimbo). I neeeed to get a new job. and I neeed to get out of my aunts house. I need to.. be happy. and right now I am not. That is why I have not been my usual, perky, constantly happy self lately.. I'm just not happy. Something needs to change, I just don't know how to do it or what to do to get there. Buuut.. ya never know.. something is ALWAYS going on. I'm sure by this time next week, I'll feel totally different about the whole thing (but I doubt it)

Just Another Manic Monday

Good weekend. Jon came into town to see his lady and baby (Casey and Chloe)... we hung out.. didn't smoke cigarettes.. and enjoyed a few beers and good company. 1:30a.m. binging.. because.. lets face it, when Grasey (Aunt Caron) makes food.. you can't help but get the drunk munchies and eat twice your weight in good food. Last night we went to Rat and Tony's, watched both games (Gooo Colts) and heard more than we prolly wanted about Tony's new job (GO TONY!!!).. I'm pretty sure he sold me a car before I left.. God knows I need one.. kinda.

So here is some goood neww music!!

"After Tonight" - Justin Nozuka (now, I don't know where his last name came from.. buuut.. hes cute and the song is good!!)

"Beautiful Disaster" - Jon McLaughlin ... cute.. and sad.. I bet if there was a video.. I would cry.. because I cry to everything.

"Money" - Matt Morris (This is the Matt Morris guy I talked about before.. who was on the Ellen Show.. This is prolly his only good song. Maybe hes got some other good ones in him... but I haven't seen it. He's entertaining to watch... but I don't really understand whats hes doing wearing that shirt... Someone should let him know that v-necks only work for Simon Cowell.. and they don't even really work for him.)

And last, but most certainly NOT least.. "Sex Therapy" - Robin Thicke (alright.. his new album, "Sex Therapy" just recently came out. The lyrics are kiiinda cheesy... but still... really sexy. He captivates me.. Hes gorgeous.. sooo gorgeous. BUT, hes married and about to be a dad (good for him, and for her.. you cant have a husband who writes/sings like him and be displeased). "Make You Love Me" ... another one.. just because I'm feeling generous today. You can look up "It's in the Mornin" on your own... nooooot baaad!!!). His ENTIRE album is about sex. He was on Chelsea Lately a while ago.. and you just knowww that hes gotta be.. goooood.. at cooking, HA!

Anyways.. It was nice seeing Jon and Aiden (Jon's son) this weekend. Overall, it was pretty quiet. I am not excited about it being Monday and I am not excited about being at work.. but hey, that's what being a big girl is all about.. I'm not too happy about it. I also need some coffee. ..

...hold that thought...



alright.. coffee in hand. Much better.

I don't really have a whole bunch to say today.. just mellow. Like I have been all weekend. Don't really know why... but I'm just gonna roll with it... see where it goes.

Oh... and.. to add awesomeness to cool.... its snowing. grosssssssssss. Mother Nature, you and I are fighting.

Happy Monday!!!

Dear So and So...

First... here is a song that always comes up on Pandora.. and I really like it..
"More Than a Man" - Dave Barnes ... Sorry about the "Days of Our Lives" video.. I think its kinda funny =)

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Dear pIah
I am pissed at you (go f'in figure). You have managed to squeeze your way into this week (and you were doing soo well avoiding that restraining order). I think that we would both be better off if you would just take my number out of your phone, forget my name and stop having wet dreams, with me involved. I understand you are prolly having a hard time finding a sleezy girl to take home.. I mean, lets face it, you've put on a few 20 lbs and you don't have a bed. WHO, no matter how slutty they may be, wants to go home with someone who offers a floor of smelly blankets to sleep on (I told you that someday you would want to know how to do your own laundry)? Nobody, that's who. I know you miss me. I don't blame you. But I do not miss you. SO! just stop. You are just convincing me even more that you are in fact a psycho. It doesn't look good on either of us (you, for obvious reasons and me... well, because I dated you). I am sure there is someone out there who wants to be your stay at home bitch, but it is NOT me.

Tell your mom I said hi,
the one that RAN away

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Dear my new male distraction
Thanks for... everything. Good job.

Ashley

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Dear Old Dan
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Love,
your bestest friend

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Dear Jimbo
Yelling at me makes me angry. Not only is it unnecessary, but it is.. TOTALLY unnecessary. Try taking a few uppers.. orrr... get laid.. orr... hell, start drinking at work (I'll have a few with you. God only knows I deserve it)!!! ANYTHING to make you happier... and less apt to yell at me. Sooner or later, your gonna feel the wrath of Ashley. I promise, it is not a pleasant experience.. try to avoid it at all costs. This is your first warning.

STILL waiting on that raise,
Ashley

p.s. "please" and "thank you" works WONDERS
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Dear Cosmopolitan
I was perusing your website this morning and what do I see? a link that reads "20 F**k me heels that will get his attention." Ok... I LOVE your magazine. It's entertaining and its always about sex. Now who doesn't love that? BUT... you are just telling your readers "Listen girls, all you need are these (ugly) shoes to get the guy!!! Do you know how many girls can't walk in heels?! Not only that.. but what respectable girl wants a guy to be interested based solely on the fact that she has heels that scream "f**k me" ?!?! No, thank you.

My other issue.. the ad that tells your.. must be uninformed readers.. 5 signs that their man wants to propose. Now, I feel that if a girl truely has no idea her main squeeze is gonna propose.. he prolly meant for that to happen and she shouldn't try to burst his bubble. Also, if your readers are really THAT dumb.. that they don't catch on to your genius hints and signs.. well, that guy needs to turn in the other direction and run.. because she is a dumb ass. I still love your magazine tho!!!

Keep up the good work,
Ashley, the cosmo girl

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Dear Facebook users
To any of you who post pictures of yourselves... get a life. If you have enough time to stand in front of a mirror, pose, make the "kissy face" and take a million pictures.. you need to get a hobby. If you think you look good that particular day, go out.. and let people see how fabulous you look. Don't get all dressed up.. only to sit in front of a mirror taking pictures. It just makes no sense. If you think you look good, good for you.. but maybe we don't.. therefore, we (I) do not care to see 500,000 pictures of you making every face possible, in front of a dirty mirror.

Thanks for making me look good,
Ashley

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It's finally Friday.. and I am not so sure that I am going to make it through today w/o yelling at Jimbo... at least... 10 times. Hes got it coming.. really. ..counting to ten, slowly... deep breath... ugh. okay. I'm ready for the weekend. 5 o'clock, you don't need to hide!!! Feel free to come early!!

Have a good weekend!!!
xoxox

Nothing in Particular

^^^^^^ Just some eye-candy for you.. =)
I want to start this morning by posting a video that recently hit YouTube... It was made by two girls who go to high school in Bolivar, NY: the pin size town where I also attended high school. It's basically about how trashy the town is. So to everyone who thinks "Wow, your from NY?! Did you love living there?" and think that just because I'm from NY I don't know anything about trashy rednecks... this will show you, that you are wrong. I think NY has more small, scummy, redneck towns than many people think. This video is funny.. the song is funny.. all because it is sooo true. soo.. Enjoy!

"We Betta" - Bolivar Gangster Rap



............................................................................................

Last night, I had a conversation that has kept me thinking all morning. I talked to a.. well.. lets say, friend.. about things that are stressing him out (I've had a couple friends lately who have decided I am the one to come to about stress issues). Hes the type of guy who doesn't talk about anything serious.. let alone anything that may be bothering him.. and that was just something I knew and didn't press the issue. Last night was a different story. He has his own personal issues that to many are not a big deal. But, to him, they are/were life changing.

We all have our own fears. Things that pull on our shirt, and tap on our shoulder that bother only us. Its hard to think of what bothers others, especially if its something we find inconsequential. Often, no matter how considerate of others we try to be, we ignore the things that bother others. We say things, do things, not do/say things that get under others skin and hurt other peoples feelings without even realizing it. Last night, while my friend was telling me the things that ail him.. I started thinking to myself "oh my gosh, I had no idea. I said something last night that I bet bothered him." Can I help that? no. But.. It makes me see how.. unintentionally hurtful or inconsiderate we can all be sometimes. Its not something we can help. It is however something that can remind us that we are not alone in our worries. There are many people who feel the same way. On the other hand, there are other people who have other issues. Bigger issues. There are so many things that can worry someone, so many actions, words, even thoughts that hurt people everyday.

His issues in particular are.. understandably upsetting him. Because of this particular "issue" of his, he has made decisions that have changed his life. He is now making decisions, because of this same issue, that could change his future life. I tried, somewhat successfully, to give him at least the confidence in me, that he has someone who understands and will listen.

Maybe that whole rant made sense. It prolly didn't.. but this is my point: Just because someone has a problem that you, personally don't understand or deem an issue, doesn't mean it shouldn't be taken with as much sensitivity and understanding you would hope to receive had the tables been turned. A persons understanding can change an0ther persons outlook so tremendously, it passes before we even know it. There are people everyday who reach out for a friend, or a listener and they get turned down. There are people everyday who are told that their issues are unimportant. It kinda breaks my heart.

.....................................................................................
^^ So that was my night. It was... good tho. A conversation I have been needing to have with this particular friend for a while.

-We are out of coffee. So that has given me the feeling that something just isn't right all morning.
-I actually have work to do today.. but I am putting it off... so I have something to do after lunch (I'm a big time procrastinator)
-My dad will be here in less than two months. This is something I will not be able to prepare myself for... but its something I think about often. I get nervous and I think about what could happen and always fail to think about the good things that can happen and focus on the bad. Not healthy, I know. But I can't help it. A good experience has yet to pass me by when it comes to my dad (hence my "daddy" issues)... but I am hoping for the best!!
-I am STARVING!!! Mexican sounds... delicious. I love Mexican food. I don't care how unhealthy it is. Which also reminds me... I thank you, God, for giving me a high metabolism. Lets just hope it sticks around for a while.. forever if you would like. One less thing we have to worry about.
-My four year old brother has decided that he wants to be a singer when he grows up. To practice he will willingly sing any song that he knows for a listening audience. Well, who am i kidding, he will sing to a non-listening audience. But its cute. adorable. You can't understand a word he says.. but its funny. So, after an introduction from mom, he will sing for you... and one day.. he will be famous.
-Something I wonder: Why do people make their facebook picture one where they are making out with their significant other? just wondering.
-I neeeeed some coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh. The one drug I'm addicted to.. and I don't have it. REALLY?!?! (nicotine doesn't count.. I quit ).
-I miss my mom.
-I want a new job.

ITS ALMOST THE WEEKEND!!!! WOO HOO!!!!
xoxox

Random Is My Middle Name

Some happenings tonight:
American Idol.. was good. as expected. I love Sheniah (sp) Twain. Shes funny. Chicago is crazy... but I love it.. I went there once with my Twin.. it was a lot of fun. I recommend going to the John Hancock building and taking pictures in the window cleaner box thingy.. anyone ever done that?

Also... I watched today's Ellen. I have seen the light. Justin Timberlake is B-E-A-utiful. I have known this for quite some time.. but i was reminded tonight. Sitting there, in his hat and leather jacket.. **big sigh** We can all only be so lucky to find someone as gorgeous as JT. ugh. its frustrating how cute he is.... Back on track.. JT was the back up to a new artist named Matt Morris (I dated a Matt Morris in high school. He was the reason for my first and last fist fight. Yes, I have been in a fight. I beat her ass >but she says the same thing< I was the only one to get in trouble tho.. because I threw the first and only punch. We are now friends.. even tho she tried to run me over with her car two weeks later). The talented Matt Morris, whom I did not date has a gross beard. It looks funny on him. Now, usually I am all about facial hair.. on the right people. His did not work. He needs to re-think that. Other than that.. his music was good. At least the stuff on Ellen. After the show, I looked him up on YouTube... it was disappointing. Hes boring. Bad judgment on Justin Timberlakes part. Oh well. We all make mistakes!!

Goooooood night

Cause Friends They Come And Go

I have a lot of things going through my head right now. But.. whats new?!

First off.. here are two good, very different songs... that I love:

The End - Pearl Jam

Only You Can Love Me This Way - Keith Urban

I have 1. fallen back in love with Pearl Jam and 2. fallen in love with Keith Urban. He was on Ellen yesterday.. he has a way of making his audience feel like each individual person is the only one in the room. Plus, I love the way he plays the guitar. He is however bad for men. Because after watching him.. the only thing I could think of was "Man, I need to find a guy like that" but, I probably never will.. there are very few out there.. and most of them are taken... damn them.

After reading a post by a fellow blogger, Vodkamom (I read her posts religiously. She always has something good to say and usually makes me literally laugh out loud.. not just the fake LOL that we use frequently to passify or fill dead air) I started thinking about my own predicament I have gotten myself into. She made me feel and think differently. That I can, no matter how hard a road it is going to be, get through this. I have had my doubts and will undoubtedly have more along the way. However, I know that I am blessed with an amazing family, good friends and a strong will to prove everyone who doubts me wrong. Eventually, someday I will be happy with my life and where I am at. I will have accomplished things I never thought I would and I will be proud.. of myself. No approval needed. There will be a day that I look in the mirror and be happy. No exceptions, no changes.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying I am not happy with myself.. on the outside. Or, really, even on the inside. I know I am a good person. I know that I am loyal, honest, good hearted.. a good friend, sister, daughter, etc.. But there are days, and they have become more frequent, when I find it more and more difficult to keep going... to stay positive and to not give up. I know what is right, I know the logical thing to do. I am just getting so sick of having to work SO hard to get there... and go through so much.. I don't want to have any more life lessons or experiences. I have had enough.. for now.

I am bold enough to say that for 21 years old I have experienced more and been on more emotional roller coasters than most my age. Do i have it hard? not by any means. But, am i emotionally drained, exhausted and need a break? certainly. I don't want any more "guy," "daddy," "make everyone proud," "how can you be so stupid," and just basic this is what life is all about lessons. I know that I am going to have many roads to travel in the future.. but for a little while, I would like a break. I do believe that during the short life I have lived thus far, I can easily say that I know more, have grown more and have had more experience than your typical 21 year old woman. To Vodkamom, thanks for showing me that hardships come to everyone's doorstep at one point or another. It is important to appreciate and realize what you have. And I do.

Thats one small smidgen of things going through my mind right now. I am also trying to leap over other, seemingly impossible hurdles. But I'll get there. Stay tuned, I'm sure its gonna get interesting.

In other, usual, random, Ashley news:
--I am in a mellow music mood today. I used to loooove Pearl Jam in high school. It all started because of a guy I used to hang out with. I then went from pretending to know what I was listening to.. to loving the music. I have fallen again. Music, for approx. 3-4 minutes, makes everything okay. Makes me feel like my feelings and emotions are normal, justified and perfectly okay. That things are fine, just keep listening. So I do. Then, eventually, reality calls and the music stops. The play button is always there though and I am def wearing it out today.
--I ran out of my new favorite coffee creamer.. ugh
--I talked to Old Dan last night for about an hour. He is having girl issues. He has.. found someone he really likes and has feelings for. I honestly felt that when the day came that Dan told me he was dating, I would be devastated. I love Dan and while we dated, I was head over heels for him. Over time, my love for him changed and we found ourselves in a relationship that was no longer.. anything more than a friendship. I know him, whether he wants to admit it or not, better than he knows himself. And he knows me in the same sense. I was happy to be able to give him some good advice and be a friend. I'm proud of him. He has learned from our relationship.. and is doing things like he should have a long time ago. He has also found himself someone who actually deserves him.
--What the hell was up with The Bachelor last night. He too was on Ellen yesterday.. I wish I was on his show.. to steal his heart. He is ADORABLE. But, back on track, what was with the one girl he eliminated last night?! I have NEVER seen her, ever. I don't even remember her name. While she was telling the unfortunate camera man why she was so upset.. I was starting to feel bad for her. Then, I realized, it is her fault!! She should have.. spoken. Even breathed. Or said her name. jeesh, what do you expect?!
--Jimbos on the phone. His cell phone rang.. he picked it up and hung up.. and is in turn, getting pissed because they keep calling back. Thank God he has court at 1:30.
--The cleaning lady was here today.. talking to Jim about.. stuff.. and came in and started talking to me (shes super nice). She made my day. Telling me I do a good job and deserve a lot of credit for putting up with Jimbo. Thank you, sister!! I am sooo glad that I am not the only person who sees that Jimbo is a hard person to work for. HE has his moments... but mostly.. hes just grumpy (for reasons I will leave untold.. because .. I shouldn't blow up his spot.. even though most ppl who know him.. know exactly why hes always grumpy)
--one hour till lunch, I'm starving!!!

Dear So and So...

Dear Psycho Italian Asshole
I know that the realization that nobody, and I mean nobody, in my entire family EVER liked you kinda sucks. It's true... My mom loved my ex.. I admit it. No reason to lie any longer.. and fill your head up with promises that she did, in fact, like you; despite the fact that she looked at you like a complete idiot every time you opened your mouth. It's time the truth be known. ALSO, I really hope you keep up with this whole "I never want to talk to you again" thing. It will not only make me happier.. but it will also make me.. well, happier. And guess what?!?! When you tell me its my loss, I can't help but laugh a little..

Good riddance,
Totally normal, independent, American girl

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Dear Kyle
I can't tell you how proud I am of you for deciding to stop drinking. I am behind you 100% and always will be

I love you,
your big sister

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Dear annoying ringing sound in my ears
Your getting to be intolerable. I heard once that it means people are talking about me. If that is the case, I would rather not have the "notification" and just not know. I'm sure, especially considering recent events, that people are talking about me. I also know.. that it prolly isn't good. So, again, no notification needed.

Thanks anyways,
Ashley

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Dear Twin
How desperate to I need to be to get an opportunity to see you? We have too much to talk about.. too many cigarettes to smoke while we are talking, too many people to laugh at and pick on, too many.. TMs to share. Let figure this out ASAP. Also, Mee Ri wants us to go visit her soon. I agree.. Lets pack our bags.

Twin

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Dear Everyone who files for bankruptcy... through me
It is not up to me on how fast your bankruptcy gets filed. It is up to you. Also, do not get mad at me if I tell you that bankruptcy is not an option because your make too much money, just start paying your bills.. and stop spending $400 a month on clothing. Be efficient.. and you will be rewarded. No more phone calls.. I'm not answering anymore.

Not sorry for the inconvenience,
Ashley

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Dear Chelsea Handler
The amusement you give me through your late night talk show and your blog just keeps growing. I totally disagree when people call you a bitch. Well, no, I take that back. You are a bitch. But its funny.. so who really cares?

keep up the good work,
Ashley

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Dear any GIRL under the age of 21
At your age, you do not have to be in such a rush to get married and have kids. I know, they are wonderful and a blessing no one can imagine until it happens to them. But stop thinking it is the "cool" thing to do.. and opening your legs to whoever happens to pass by. IT is getting to the point where the people having kids and getting married are actually out numbering those of us who are still in school and casually dating. Why is everyone in such a hurry?! I am getting sooooo exhausted with constantly finding out that someone else I went to school with is either a. engaged b. married c. pregnant d. pregnant again e. getting divorced or f. trying to get pregnant. Its sickening. Live your life first!!! If your getting married now... Ill let you know of a couple divorce attorneys when your ready... o and I'll be your marriage counselor when you need one. Your children will prolly need me too, because God only knows how messed up they will be at the end of this. I would not be so upset if you actually took care of your children and got a job. But pawning your kids on your parents.. partying all the time and then complaining that you live in an 80 year old trailer is what pisses me off.

just a side note: it is not cute to take pictures of you awkwardly holding your child, while it looks like their head is gonna fall off... and he/she screaming.. and then posting them on facebook. Good Lord! I don't have children.. and I could give you a parenting course.. and do better than your doing now. If you wanted to get something cute to take pictures with... you should have gotten a dog. Or a fish...

Keep 'em closed,
Ashley

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Dear This past week
We are not friends. Once 5:00 p.m. comes around and I can leave work for two days.. I am quickly forgetting all about you.. and everything that happened. I did not have ONE SINGLE good day this past week. Please let next week know that I have very high expectations.. and I do not want to be let down. Also, feel free to let my stalkers, pIah and my student loans know that they too can all go to hell.

I heard it hot where your going,
Ashley

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Dear Readers, If you enjoy these Dear So and So's every Friday, try your own hand at one! Pop on over to Kat's place, grab her button and put it on your blog! Put your name on Mr. Linky and you'll be linked right up!

Thursday Morning

Today I am in a MUCH better mood than I was in Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. THANK GOD!! I am not usually an unhappy person. When I am unhappy.. I tend to be.. a bitch. I am sorry. However, I have decided that everything that has debased how I was feeling along with my outlook on everything.. is not worth it. I need to stop feeling so.. adverse to how I would normally feel when a situation that I am not comfortable with presents itself. Therefore, it's over, it's done, I'm movin' on.

SO!

I am getting into American Idol. I watched it in high school, when keeping up to date with reality tv was the approved, popular thing to do. Then I stopped because I just didn't have time (and frankly, watching Roseann was something I was more interested in) nor did I care much. Last night completely changed all of that. I am now interested in what entertainment American Idol has to offer simply because Ellen DeGeneres is the new judge and I love her.
Last night offered a certain level of amusement that I was not displeased with (even tho Ellen has yet to make an appearance). The girl who auditioned from Tennessee was one of my favorites. I can't wait to see what happens to her. I also find it quite amusing when I attempt to eradicate my very northern accent and try a southern accent on for size. It doesn't fit. But, like I said, I am looking forward to seeing where this bridge jumper, southern belle goes.. and if she actually has talent... ??

For a while, during lunch with Casey, we saw a flock of birds that would circle the office.. or the general location of the office.. at least 7 times. Casey and I would sit and wonder what kind of birds we circling the office and where on Earth did they come from?!?! My all knowing Granny told me the answer. They are, apparently, seagulls. Which takes our dove theory and throws it down the toilet.. with the excitement of wonder following close behind (I know, sad that we actually spent so much time wondering.. and it actually gave us a small degree of excitement).

I have a ginormous laundry list of things I need to do to get my life back on track. There are certain things, and certain goals I have that maintain a higher significance than others.. and I admit that quite often, I get off track. I also feel extrememly overwhelmed. There was a time, not long ago, that I thought (convinced myself) that I was where I needed to be and I knew where I was going.. with the rest of my life. That, obviously, did not work out. People traveled in and out of my life, interestes changed, values changed, my expectations rose and my interpretation of a healthy relationship proved wrong. So I am picking myself up, dusting myself off and attempting a new, improved, rendition of the meaning of happiness and fulfillment. wish me luck.

Some of the typical randomness:
-I got ready in 30 minutes this morning. A new record considering a shower was involved.
- Something smells awful.. I've sprayed Febreeze like eight times, it has yet to cease.
-My hair looks awful today
-I am tired and I shouldn't be
-I love Matt Nathanson's voice. Which makes me think.. that I need to find someone with a deep voice, I think they are sexy.


Thats all I have for now. I hope you ALL have a good day, even if I don't like you =)

Not So Wordless

These aren't my words.. but they help. A rather extensive list of my favorite quotes =) Hey, they help me!

My Therapy & Words To Live By:
Details in the fabric

Live High

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
-Victor Frankl

The circumstances of the world are so variable that an irrevocable purpose or opinion is almost synonymous with a foolish one.
-William H. Seward

It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone - so far.
-Marilyn Monroe

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.
-Flavia Weedn

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers. -Mary Tyler Moore

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.
-Author Unknown

A man might pass for insane who should see things as they are.
-William Ellery Channing

I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.
-Marilyn Monroe

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
-David Carradine

At the end of the day, a loving family should find everything forgivable.
-Mark V. Olsen and Will Sheffer

The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.
-Lloyd Jones

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr. Seuss

All the mistakes I make arise from forsaking my own station and trying to see the object from another person's point of view.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is much easier to become a father than to be one.
-Kent Nerburn, Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man

I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful.
-Marilyn Monroe

The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.
-Dodie Smith

If you're doing your best, you won't have any time to worry about failure.
-Quoted in P.S. I Love You

Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.
-Marilyn Monroe


Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.
-Carl Reiner

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
-Stephen Levine

Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.
-Author Unknown

To put it bluntly, I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation. But I'm working on the foundation.
-Marilyn Monroe

If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.
-Winnie the Pooh

You can't always sit in your corner of the forest and wait for people to come to you... you have to go to them sometimes.
-Winnie the Pooh

You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.
-Winnie the Pooh

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you cant change. Kiss slowly, love deeply and Forgive quickly. Take chances, give everything and have NO regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but happy.

life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get
-Forrest Gump

Take what you can from your dreams, make them as real as anything
-DMB

Turns out not where, but who your with that really matters

Never settle for anything less than everything

Don't miss what was, Don't anticipate what will be. just enjoy what is

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-Charlie Brown

We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do

Treat your friends like family and your family like friends
-From a picture frame in my bedroom

My Frist Wordless Wednesday

Today... I've got nothin' .... So I guess today is wordless Wednesday!!

Crazy Dreams Suck

I have weird dreams. All the time. I was told once, by someone who believes there is a meaning to all dreams, that I should write them down.. and interpret them later. But I don't .. plus.. I always forget what they were about. Last night, however, I woke up at 5:30ish because I had one of those dreams that felt so real, I woke up believing that it was still happening. I hate those (I had a dream once, in high school, that I had killed my brother. I woke up crying, took a shower and started getting ready for school. Then, I saw my brother coming out of his room.. I was honestly shocked, thinking I was seeing dead people (without the whispering) and started hysterically crying. I hugged him, told him how much I loved him and prayed for four months that I never have a dream like that AGAIN).

SO! last night I had a dream that a certain person of the male gender moved to Arizona (where I apparently live, in dreamland). He moved there because someone told him I needed his help. So we went looking for what was wrong (because neither of us knew). We were walking in the park when we see all of my friends from Rochester (where I went to college). Thennn a reoccurring dream, I always have, started. I was running, trying to beat all of those old friends to an old building. But I couldn't move. Well, I was moving, just very slow. Then I started gettting hot. Because, well, I was in Arizona (I heard it is hot there). Becasue I couldn't run towards this old building, I just turned around and went home. Where this person of the male gender was waiting for me. He then told me that my unborn child had passed away (apparently without me knowing it) and I wasn't able to have children. Which then resulted in me crying. sobbing. After I finished crying, I opened my eyes and I was standing outside of this house, the same house that is in all of my "house" dreams (It's a big white house, with a ginormous foyer, two staircases leading to the longest hall way in history. All of the rooms on the right side are old and haunted. All of the rooms on the left side look like rooms out of a 1970's men's club. There is also a staircase that leads to a kitchen (that's yellow). This kitchen is always brightly lit and its always snowing outside. There is a big dinning hall that is attached to this kitchen, that is about 100 times bigger than this kitchen. There is a balcony in this ginormous dinning hall with a spiral staircase leading to it. that balcony looks over the whole shebang. On this balcony, there is always a man (that I have never seen before) watching me. In my house dreams, I am always trying to get away from this man. SOOOO standing outside of the dream house, I look at this certain person of the male gender and ask him to dance (weird, I know). We're dancing.. dancing.. dancing.. and I start to get tired. I fall asleep. I wake up (still dreaming) in the house i lived in while I was in high school (I have moved over 30 times.. in real life). When I walked out of my bedroom, I was in my old apt. in St Louis, where pIah came up to me, hugged me, and told me how happy we was that we had gotten married. I freaked out, started crying and told him that I couldn't be married to him because I was in love with someone else. He in turn freaked out and jumped off of our balcony.

I wake up. look around, and realize/convince myself it was just a dream. Intense? I thought so too. Sooo that is that.

*I need some coffee. With some of that chocolate creamer I am IN LOVE with.
*I am getting really sick of someone calling the office and hanging up. twice this morning. annoying
*I watched the bachelor last night. It was in-tents. My thoughts on it.. The women are just setting themselves up to be let down. Because, if he chooses "her" (whoever), there will be no private Chicago concerts, no fireworks displays (just for her). Not only that, but the mans a pilot.. He will NEVER be home!! good show tho. Can't wait to see what the whore who had an affair with one of the show's staff members has to say.
*It's almost half way through the month. That is CRAZY!!! My dad will be here in two months. So will my madre. woah.

Tuesdays suck
xoxox

Edge of Desire

This song is... great. I think I've listened to it... maybe 50 times today.

And God knows I can't leave you out!!

"Edge of Desire" John Mayer... enjoy! The lyrics are great. and the best part is... you can listen to the song.. and fantasize about Mr. Mayor... because that amazing album cover of his is included!!! No charge!!

GROSS

UUUUGGGGHHHH. Thats all I can say. No, I can actually fit in... fml.
Crazy, crazy things are happening. Things I wish I was no part of. Things I can't control and I wish I could. All I can hope for is the best. All I can hope for is.. stability. sometime soon would be wonderful. Thank you for not smoking.
WTF?!?!

In other news:
I woke up.. 30 minutes before I had to be at work. I got home 15 minutes before I had to be at work. I have had no coffee, John Mayer's amazing voice is helping a bit. I heard DMB on my way to work.. But I had to wait for a damn train for 15 minutes. I need coffee. I have had two cans of soda.. all in about 15 minutes. I am officialy done smoking. Done (even though, I could really go for one right now). I think I can hear creepy massage therapist with the ugly woman who came in for a massage. I may vomit. I'll wait till he comes in here.. and do it on his shoes. That'll show him!

I HATE WINTER

I got new coffee creamer. It is chocolate flavored. PERFECTION.

I love you, Casey. You are wonderful.

I'm craving a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (the best part about being a nanny.. when I was one.. was the food. I eat like a 4 year old).

It's is 11:20, do you know where your stalker is?

Chelsea Handler is probably the funniest, drunk woman I know. I want to have drinks with her. I think that all of my problems could be solved after a night out with her. Shed tell "you" where to go. Directly to.. anywhere away from me. That's where. It would be worth the saggy under eye and crack head look the next morning. Totally.

Does anyone wanna move to Hawaii with me? We can live on the beach, drink cheap alcohol and get realllllly good sun tans. its warm there. often.

I hate when people don't answer their phones. I also hate times when I wanted to talk to someone.. I don't, I go to bed.. then they text me at 3:30 in the morning. annoying. I also hate trains at 8:14 in the morning. I also am not fond of ANYONE named Dan. With an exception of Dan Matteo, Because, well, hes the only guy who ever treated right (hahaha. lame) and my best friend (not counting Cory or Casey). I don't like brussels sprouts. I thought I did. I don't. I hate the color magenta. I hate people who talk about the things they hate. However, I am not in the best of moods this morning.. soooo I am going to. I am my own exception, always. I get annoyed by barking dogs and I hate when ppl have dogs who jump and beg. I hate drama. Well, I hate my own drama. I love other ppls drama.. if it doesnt involve me. I hate 7 a.m. I also don't like Mariah Carey. I don't know why. I like her music... but she annoys me. I don't like Creepy Massage Therapist and I don't like people who preach about how bad smoking is for you... EVERYONE KNOWS!!!!!! I don't like sleeping in rooms that are pitch black.. unless I'm drunk (then I don't notice and I just pass out). I hate stupid jokes. I hate people who give dirty looks for no reason. I hate alll of the stalkers I have (yes, there is more than one). I think I am going to stay away from anyone whose name starts with a "D". I don't like pessimism or people who are unhappy. I hate my mood right now. I need some coffee. I hate people who laugh when nothing was funny. I don't like when people talk about how bad a person is.. even tho.. they have NO room to talk. I don't like when people drag their feet and I hate when women wear pants that are too short. If i won the lottery, some of it would go towards buying a good pair of jeans for random people on the street. I don't care about the weather in other states. I don't care if it snowed in North Dakota last week... unless I was there. And I wasn't. I don't like when Jimbo screams my name from the other room. I also do not like the basement at work or spiders. I could go on for days. So, I think its time to think happy thoughts and get over this bad mood.

HAPPY effin MONDAY!!!

Dear So and So

^^^^^^^^^^ hahahahaha. Cheesy? yes. Funny? absolutely.

Dear all of my loved ones in NY
What happens when it snows an inch over night? Okay, 1 1/2 inches overnight? Thats right, You wake up, thank God that it didn't snow more.. and go about your morning. You don't bother to call and see if schools are canceled; Because, well, you can still see grass. AND.. the person on the other line would laugh at you.
However, here in Western Kentucky... 1-1/2 inches of snow causes for:
-Everything in town getting canceled/shut down
-Schools shut down the day before.. in anticipation of this inch of snow
-People go to the grocery store, spend $200 in anticipation of not being able to leave their house.. due to this one inch of show
- One inch of snow is the main subject of conversation.. everywhere
-People are getting in accidents left and right because of this snow.
Basically.. the world here, stops.

I know what you are thinking, NY. WHAT!?!?!? Here, the two plows they have are the same size the old man next door plows all of his neighbors driveways with. People are getting in accidents every two seconds and I did not have to go to work.. All because of one inch of snow. Its crazy to me. But, I like it. Not only do you have to go to school after one inch of snow, in NY, you have to go to school after two feet of snow. And, not only do people drive, and drive relatively safely after one inch of snow.. one inch of snow is a big relief.. because that means you don't have to drive in six inches of snow.. like you will have to the next day... because you KNOW its gonna snow EVERY SINGLE DAY for at least a month.

So, I am quite happy with this. Not that there is snow.. Because, well, we all know by now that snow and I are not friends. I am happy that all of those days I wished for a snow day from school when I was younger.. because we got three feet of snow... and didn't get one.. I am getting them now!!! AND you don't even have to wait till the next morning to find out! You find out the night before... BEFORE IT EVEN HAPPENS!!!!

drive safe, Ashley

.........................................................

Dear Aunt Caron and Casey
I miss you and I wish soooooo bad that I could be there, in Nashville... right now. =( have fun for me too!! and drink a couple beers for me!!!

=(, Ashley

.....................................................

Dear Folgers

I love you. I also want to say, Thanks. For being so wonderful, so good, sooo energizing.

4 cups in, Ashley

....................................................

Dear Jimbo

We need to enroll you in some yoga classes or teach you some breathing techniques. Either way, learn to chill.. roll with the punches and coast. Life will be a lot less stressful. Promise.

still waiting on that raise, Ashley

....................................................

Dear every single straight man

Being an ass hole will NOT get you the girl. I promise. Yes, there is the whole "nice guys finish last" bull shit.. but its not true. Which would you prefer? A girl who likes you because your an ass hole or a girl who likes you for.. the sweet, caring, loving person you really are (and I am only talking to those of you who are REALLY that way. Not those of you who are, in fact, ass holes. You can go to hell). Also, if you are an ass hole to a girl, she likes you.. and then you change.. said girl is gonna be pissed. Then, ultimately, you will lose her anyways. Also, that girl is prolly a huge bitch, if she likes ass holes.. or, shes got some unresolved daddy issues. Maybe all of this just pertains to me.. so speaking for myself.. being a jerk.. will get you NOWHERE. Stop trying, I am getting annoyed.

good luck, Ashley

.............................................................

Yet Another

Because I am so.. oddly obsessed with writing in my blog lately.. well, since I started it, really.. I feel obligated to post this (you are welcome, mother).

I may or may not be going to Nashville this weekend. Because pIah got our car.. I am left without one (eff you pIah.. one more reason why I hate you). So.. I have been needing to depend (sadly) on other people to get where I need to go (thank you, God, for giving me a job two blocks from my house). Sooooo my twin/cousin said he was going to come and pick me up on Friday when I get out of work (lets all pray). UGH. I need some TWIN time BAD. and I mean BAD. He is my best friend/twin/thinks, acts just like me... in most ways.

An update.. it is not random Wednesday that everyone in this blog world does, with wordless Wednesday... I AM NOT WORDLESS. So I can not participate, sorry. I ALWAYS have something to say. sadly. Thank you to those who listen. And to those who read.

While at my Aunt Caron's I frequently find myself ENJOYING a couple Milwakee's Best Light. shhhhhh I know... its not that great. However, drink it for a while and it grows on you. I swear.

Guy status... Hes still there (well, where he is.. nowhere near me... sadly).. do I mind? I'm not sure yet. Would it be convenient if he was? Yes, I would prolly be taken by now. Buuuut I'm not and I am okay with that. VERY okay with that.

Its supposed to snow, here in Western Kentucky, tonight. GROSS. I HATE SNOW!!! I hate winter, I hate cold, I hate everything that has to do with wearing warm clothes and getting "ready" to walk outside for 4.2 seconds. I hate shivering half the trip to the grocery store and I HATE when the bottoms of my pants are soaked to my knee. Why don't I move to a place that is warm year round, you ask? I ask myself that every single day.

1 hour and 26 minutes till the weekend is ALMOST here. THANK YOU, GOD
xoxox

Look At Me, Look At ME!!

^^^ thought this was funny hahahaha
While I was brushing my teeth this morning I remembered my 9th grade chemistry teacher telling me that if you brush your teeth with your non-dominate hand, your memory will improve. Temporarily forgetting that my 9th grade biology teacher was certifiably insane, I find myself thinking about that sometimes.. while I'm brushing my teeth. I never switch hands tho. SO! that got me thinking.. Who couldn't use a better memory?! I know I could. I forget everything (something Jimbo reminds me of often). I looked it up.. nothing on brushing your teeth with your non-dominate hand. Too bad. I was really hoping it was that easy. But, what is?

I have found my self in a pickle with a certain someone of the opposite sex. I decided I was not going to talk about love interests online.. because, well "another one bites the dust" is a slogan that pertains quite well with my love life and it would be VERY confusing to those who read this. So I will just stick with the general "stuff." At least until one of those people catches me for good. Then, I am sure you will hear alllll about him.
ANYWAYS!! this certain someone.. was like.. my first kiss. GO FIGURE, I ran into him while I was in NY. cute. sooo a couple weeks later, we're talking (only talking.. I'm here, hes.. in another place). BUT guess what?! Hes got past relationship issues (don't they all). So.. being sick of being interested in guys with relationship issues.. I told him to just get at me when he didn't have relationship issues. There. Problem solved. I won't become someone else's arch enemy. jeez, guys.. take care of old business before you start with new business. It'll be better for business.

My quit smoking attempts... not very good.

I REALLY wanna go to Nashville this weekend. But I don't know if Jimbo will give me the afternoon off. Lets pray. I need twin time. desperately.

Coffee count as of 9:20a.m.: 3... I cut myself off at six yesterday... baaaad me.

My Granny has become OBSESSED with FarmTown on Facebook. Really. Shes always asking me questions about it (I am a recovering FarmTown addict) and giving me the updates on her farm expansions. Its funny. And before you ask: Yes, My Granny has Facebook.

I'm hungry. I would looooove a bowl of cereal right now. I could live off of cereal.

I watch Reba every morning while I get ready for work. HA. That just makes me laugh. Shes awesome.

My brother... who is 19.. I'm worried about him. I'll just leave it at that. If you pray, pray for him. If you don't.. send some good thoughts this way.. I'll pass 'em on.

I think that I could sleep for a full two days if someone gave me a sleep mask/very heavy curtains. I haven't been sleeping much lately... and I am feeling the side effects at 7 in the morning when I have to wake up.. so I don't.. I hit the snooze button for half an hour.

I found a new pair of pants that fit me. Which may be a bad thing... because they were too big before. However, I don't really care. My New Years resolution will never be to lose weight.. ever. I refuse. I am relatively happy with how I look and when I become unhappy about it.. I will do something about it then.. OR.. just not let myself get to that point.

Thats all I got for now. Happy Hump day!!
xoxox

good tunes

I am IN LOVE with this song. Actually... I think that ALL of Norah Jones' songs are fantastic. I love her voice.


Also, Sara Bareilles is making a come back for me.. "Come 'Round Soon" is a good song


Thats all.
xoxox

=) Don't Worry, Be Happy (=

One more year of crazy holiday madness over. phew. Here is a list of what my holiday consisted of

out of work early (yay!)
nap (I am in looove with sleep)
Aunt Caron's
Casey (+Nolan and Chloe, my two favorite children)
beer
beer
good tunes
My "last" cigarettes
New Years kiss* (with Casey, don't get too excited)
Creepy, butt grabbing, extremely tall, guy
Movies all day (I strongly recommend "The Proposal." I laughed and cried. It was good)
pIah is getting more psycho (whoda thunk?!)
New Years lunch at Granny's.. mmmmmmmm
the Boat
a proposal
too much to drink (not on my part)
subway
awwwkwarrd
I am still addicted to John Mayer
There is a new boy.. potentially.


My New Years was good. I didn't get to see my favorite boys, but I had Casey with me.. and that definitely makes up for it. I am ready for a New Year and new happenings. The old stuff was getting boring. When I think about how my New Years was last year... its kinda.. crazy. It is the polar opposite of where I am at now. But I am happy with it.

I am four cups of coffee deep and I feel wonderful!! I slept till noon all weekend... so I didn't have any coffee... so now... its having its working it magic on me... a little more stronger than usual.

It is 8 degrees outside. I need to move. I hate the cold. Why on Earth would anyone ever think it would be a good idea for it to HURT to breath?!?! ugh. The worst part.. is getting out of the shower when its cold. I hate that.

I have come the the conclusion that I am destined to find guys who have some kind of baggage. Ugly. Not cool. Over it.

A woman emailed me yesterday... She heard about one of the studies I did in school and wants to see my report... So she can consider having me repeat the study, with different subjects. I cant remember where she was from. That would be fun. whoooo knowwws.

ANYWAYS.. Happy Monday!! I am determined to be positive.. And to LOVE every, single day. Even tho, I would prefer some things happen sooner than later =).

xoxoxox