My Semi-Deep Side

Listening to some good music.. thinking more than I should.. these are my thoughts...



Its disappointing how fast a person loses things; their life, their kids, their friends, family, love, happiness or just the feeling of being content. All of these "things" are so often taken for granted, you never know how much they mean to you once they are gone. From little things (happiness) to big things (family)... anything can be gone in an instant. Its heart wrenching. It makes my heart hurt.


Family and friends are so important to me. However, after today's events, I realize how often I take my friendships for granted. How often I put aside a ten minute phone call. I don't realize that phone call could make my valued friendship more valuable, more special. I take it for granted. My family.. ooo my family. My family is the best. I forget that sometimes. When my dad pisses me off and doesn't call... I get stubborn and refuse to call him. I complain about circumstances that.. make my family who they are. Get over it, Ashley (yes, I'm talking to myself). Family and friends is the fuel that runs the happiness machine!! What is the point in being happy if you don't have family to share it with. Also... who ever said that you were doing anyone a favor by sacrificing your own happiness for someone else.



Another thing... Happiness. It can be taken away in an instant.. and is so vital to the well being of our existence. It boggles my mind how many people take pure happiness for granted. So many people spend their days being mmiserable.. or just.. not happy.. they miss out on so much. They don't even realize it. The happiness of a person should be the sole concern for that person. Without your happiness, many people lose out on happiness and many people miss out on the happy you.. the only one they REALLY want. Life really is too short to be ANYTHING but happy. I wish more people would realize that. Stop complaining about the small things.. and be happy they are there.. to remind you its not a big deal.



Love. O, love. I am in love with love. I love being in love. I love looking into a persons eyes and feeling that they are the only person in the room. I love the feeling you get when someone truly takes your breath away... When it is pure joy and contentment to just sit in a room with someone.. without having to say a word. Its incredible.. and its a shame many people take that for granted and settle for something sub par. Having and sharing love with a person is so.. life changing, its a shame many people miss out on it. I believe that you just know. Even at first sight.. (maybe not all the time.. but hey, it can happen). But I think that it hits you. It hits so hard.. you can't hold it in.
I want a movie kinda love. The kind when Price Charming comes in and sweeps me off my feet and makes everything all better. Because, even if nobody in the entire world sees it, I do. I would feel it (in his kiss.. haha.. Cher). There is one person I have truly loved, Dan Matteo. I would do anything for him. But does hearing his voice, seeing his face, feeling his touch make my life better, happier? No.. (sorry Sparky, no offense). Dumb ass Italian psycho had a hard time getting that. But love is... magnificent. It can jump mountains and swim oceans. So many people miss out on it.. because they want to get on with life, not have to worry about it.. or don't want to risk a hard time or heart ache. GET OVER IT!!! stop being a damn baby.

Do I love you because you're beautiful,
Or are you beautiful because I love you?
~Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella ... Had to do it, its cute!!!

We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Well that's it. I've gotten that out of my system. I hope everyone who happens to read this thinks a little more about.. everything.. on a level beyond the drama.. and simply based on the facts. How things are.. like it or not. Because are all of those things we worry about every day worth it? probably not. Solutions aren't so hard once you open your eyes and face reality.