A New Season

I know, I know, it's been a while. Please forgive me. ...

What has been going on, you ask?! Let me fill you in. I apologize for letting you know how terribly freaked out I was about my dad coming.. then gave you no follow up. Again, sorry. But then again, I am not. My dad was here!!! I had no time.

Last Saturday (not this past Saturday, but the Saturday before then) my dad came to town. At 11:30 a.m. my uncle (Paw Steve) told us all that Uncle Ron would be in at about 3:00. So I thought to myself "okay, Ashley, you have about three hours to get your shit together and prepare for this momentous occasion". I was wrong. As I was going outside with Casey to quit smoking.. a car pulls into the drive way. I didn't know who it was.. I didn't have my glasses on (I am BLIND without my glasses) and just stared.. until Casey told me it was them.

WHAT?!?! It was only NOON!!!! NOT 3:00. I turned around.. made an excuse that I had to take a shower.. and went upstairs. I was just not ready. I didn't know what to say.. what to do.. how to act.. I was going to cry. I ran upstairs, started the shower.. almost got in with my clothes on. But then got in with my towel... and I started to cry. Holy shit. Fuck. He's here. Oh. My. God. WHAT am I going to do?!?!?! ---All this was gong through my head. My Twin came up and sat in the bathroom with me.. put on some good music.. and talked to me. I showered.. took my time.. and while I was waiting for T to get ready.. I freaked out on him and almost bit his head off. But I didn't. We eventually went downstairs. Outside. Rat had waited to go home so she could see the whole reunion. He didn't see me at first. He was busy convincing my little brother, Jimbo, that a monster lived in the basement.. that would bite his fingers off.. and tried to get him to go in and see. Jimbo didn't go in and see.. and my dad gave up, turning his head, and looking at me. I said "hi" we hugged and we sat down to quit smoking. (O.. and the night before.. I got HAMMERED and cried for about an hour to my cousin, Jon.. and basically had a mental breakdown).. Sooo everything was good. I met my two brothers and my sister (who had broken out in hives because she was so excited to see me). We spent the night cooking and drinking and hanging out. We sat out in the playroom and drank more beer.. and hung out more. I listed to my dad play the harmonica and tell stories from when he was younger. We talked a little about my mom.. but that was about it.

Monday, after work, My family threw a small surprise party for me. My favorite food, Spaghetti, a Barbie cake.. and.. a birthday present. The first gift I have EVER gotten from my dad. I was on the verge of crying the whole night because this was the first birthday I had ever spent with my father.. but then I opened his gift.. and the flood walls came crashing down. He had given me a painting he had done. A relatively bigger, framed, piece of glass that he had painted a picture on. and had given to me. I tried to hold back the tears.. but it didn't work. I cried, gave him a hug and thanked him. We then put all the kids to bed and drank MORE beer... I had the day off... sooo I drank a little more than I should have. We somehow got on the topic of our relationship.. and the second flood walls came crashing down.

I did not want to talk to my dad while we had been drinking. We are two peas in a pod when we are drunk.. I just didn't see it as a good idea. However, the topic came up and I started to cry. My A. Caron had to leave the room because she was going to cry.. and she gave us our time to talk. We didn't argue. I told him I wouldn't hold a grudge or yell at him. I said that I didn't want to focus on whose fault it was that I never saw him.. I just wanted him now. I wanted my dad. I wanted his support. I wanted him to know what was going on with me.. and to care. I wanted to talk to him, be able to turn to him.. I wanted to have, for the first time in my life, a dad. I wanted to get to know him and for him to get to know me. I wanted to be a part of his family. Be his daughter...who happens to look and act just like him. He promised he would be there. He apologized, I accepted, we hugged, we laughed, we drank more beer.

That conversation took such a huge weight off my shoulders. I felt like a different person. I had said everything I had wanted to.. and I had gotten everything off my chest. It was good. I had my dad.

The rest of the week went relatively quickly (except for the Wednesday night church service, which dragged on for three hours.. and not three hours of preaching.. three hours of listening to them talk about the money issues the church is having.. ugh).

My dad and I spent the last couple of nights hanging out, quitting smoking and cathcing up on as much as we could. He left on Friday morning... I'm still pretty bummed. However, he says hes going to be visiting again soon.. sooo its not too bad. At least I don't have to wait seven more years before I can see him.


Something that did happen... A. Caron told my dad about the dick pictures. uuuggghhh. Rat, A. Caron and I had decided the night before that we wouldn't tell him... buuut the secret slipped. And he now wants to hunt him down and make him disappear. I don't think I would mind too terribly much.

My Twin surprised me for my birthday. Buuut I kinda found out before he got there. Mainly because they thought they could trick me.. and I wouldn't notice that Jon's car was not at Casey's... soooo who else would have it?!?! Cory. duhhh. His birthday is in a couple weeks.. I'm pretty excited about that!!!