Dear So and So...

I'm gonna try this whole Dear So and So again..

Dear Jason Mraz,
I would like to invite you to a private show... in my room... ASAP. and when I say ASAP.. i mean get a private jet and fly here NOW!!! It is an emergency.. and it needs to happen. My life depends on it. Please extend an invite to Robin Thicke and John Mayer.

Thanks in advance, see ya soon
Ashley
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Dear Summer,
Where are you? Spring OBVIOUSLY isn't coming.. So I think you need to just take the bull by the horns, suck it up and show your pretty little sunshiney face! It would get a very warm welcome, I am sure of it.

hurry up,
Ashley
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Dear Mom,
I love you. I miss you.

your oldest, prettiest, favorite in the whole wide world, daughter,
Ashley Renea
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Dear pIah,
Thanks for not calling lately. It has really made life a little easier. I know you are going to New York to hang out with all of our old friends (whom hate me because I dated you)... but if you say ONE WORD about me, AT ALL and I get texts, phone calls, facebook messages.. ANYTHING mentioning that they heard ANYTHING about me.. your parents will start wondering where you are very soon. Pinky promise. O... and the girl you hooked up with last week? yeah... shes got an std. I heard it was herpes. Good luck with that shit. I guess I won't be getting any more dick pictures... breaks my heart, really. HAHAHAHA

I Sincerely don't like you,
Ashley
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Dear Coffee,
You're wonderful and you always treat me right. I love you for that. Buuut why do you have to be bad for me? I mean, why can't I drink a whole pot of you... and still be okay.. and NOT tear up my insides. So now, I have to see less of you.. and I miss you. Lets re-unite here in say..... three seconds.

Looking forward to it,
Ashley
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Dear Creepy Massage Therapist,

STOP getting into my desk. STOP creepily looking over my shoulder when I am on the computer and STOP telling me that smoking is bad for me. I KNOW!!! Besides, I think you are the LAST person to be giving anyone advice considering you sleep with ooo about 1/2 of your clients.. and I think one of them is a man. Does your wife know you like dressing up as a woman? just sayin'.

I'm concerned,
Ashley
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Dear Trash collectors,

Can you please go into my office in the morning and just empty the trash cans out for me? Because I threw a bunch of stuff away that Jimbo doesn't know about.. the trash cans are gettin' kinda heavy. I would really appreciate it. Feel free to wash the dishes in the sink too, they won't wash themselves, ya know!!!

I appreciate it,
Ashley
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Dear Jimbo,

I am not your personal assistant. I am supposed to do your office work. Not figuring out your phone bill or balancing your checking account. Also, I know I make a few mistakes, but everyone does. Just because I have a mis-communication about a damn filing fee, does not mean it is the end of the world! CHILL OUT!!! I deserve a raise. I mean, really. You are not an easy person to work for. Not only that, but your a dick head.

truth hurts,
Ashley