Sitting here at work I have a lot of things to think about and not enough to do. I basically get paid to blog and peruse Facebook (something I am NOT complaining about). While I am doing all of this and trying to figure out what my boss, Jim, is trying to tell me from across the hall... in a muffled voice.. that elephants wouldn't be able to hear... I listen to music. I have fallen in love with Sara Bareilles. Dave Matthews Band is, of course, a favorite. John Mayer, Howie Day, Maroon 5. I would recommend going to Pandora... and making a radio station of Sara Bareilles (Thank you Old Dan for turning me onto Pandora, it is a lifesaver!!!). There is so much music.. that hits the perfect spot. I find myself thinking, quite often.."This is my life". Then of course, I have to listen to it about 50 more times (I cant sing at work tho, no fun at all)
just a little side note to Old Dan... because you said it was weird I mentioned you.. "Come Back To Bed" is playing right now... hahaha makes me think of you.. Lucky dog!! =)
Any who... Today is a very dreary day. Rain.. lots of it. I decided to wear boots that could pass as house shoes (I'm sick of wearing heels all the time) and my feet got wet... oh well. I look like hell today too. I usually get up and give myself enough time to shower, get ready and eat breakfast.. and drink some coffee with my Granny and Granddad. Not this morning. As I mentioned before.. I was running a little late. It happens. Its frustrating getting ready everyday lately. ALL/MOST of my clothes are in Saint Louis. Along with my shoes, jewelry, bags... I could go on, but I wont. And my very thoughtful ex has packed it all up and placed in what was once my livingroom (how thoughtful of him. I wonder what his hoe of the night thinks when she walks in a sees a bunch of boxes all over.. and an apt decorated like a girl spewed her girlyness all over it. Shes prolly too drunk to tell anyways.. and even if she wasn't.. she prolly doesn't care). <<>
Because of all these past events.. and life changing happenings... I decided I am either A: going to become a lesbian or B: going to be single for so long.. when I'm ready to date.. Ill be too old.. and wont be able to walk by myself.
I am using this as a way for my family to see what I am up to, Spill my guts about something/ someone.. and not have to say it out loud.. and just... have something to do. I'm weak when it comes to telling ppl things. At least when I'm upset about it, or I know I'm going to cry. Hence the whole Dad issue. I hate hurting someones feelings.. or getting someone upset with me. Its the worst feeling in the world. To know that your have disappointed someone. So.. hopefully.. whoever does read this.. can enjoy it!
I'm working on myself now. The opportunity has hit me in the face pretty hard so i might as well take it.. instead of passing it by... like I usually do. I'm very good at doing things... even though I know I should not do them. SO! this time.. I'm going to do what I know I should do..
I decided to put a picture of my cousin and I on here. Hes great and I love him. Hes going through a lot of what I am... and in a lot of ways.. a lot worse. He can easily be categorized as someone to look up to. He is being so strong in what is by far the most difficult time in his life. A lot is changing for both of us. I'm thinking about him.. and just want him to know that. And remember.. that everyone is thinking about him!! He is my best friend. I actually cant wait for this weekend. For the first time in a long time I get to go out with people my age, dance, have fun, drink.. and not worry about a jealous boyfriend who will try to beat up anyone who asks my name (yes, that has happened. New Dan was quite the guy).
Well... I'm going to try to find something productive to do. Time is managing to go by slow.. which is VERY annoying
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